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Tuesday 30 June 2009

25 - Review: Star Trek

Since May, I've been committing the writerly equivalent of leaving my leg in Piranha-infested waters. Instead of writing reviews of movies shortly after viewing them, I've procrastinated. I've procrastinated so much, in fact, that my memories of these films are now fun-size. It's up to you to let me know if anything good comes of this belated attempt to kick-start my summer movie coverage by the usual means: not posting any comments beneath the article. Thanks.

N.B. Grandiloquent Factoids: Ian couldn't pass up the opportunity to review Star Trek as:
  1. He likes Star Trek.
  2. It allows him to employ his review system on the property that inspired it.
--

Whoever said you're either a Star Trek fan or a Star Wars fan couldn't count. Probably. The point is he/she was wrong. I know this because I enjoy both of the relevant Star franchises*. As a child, the latter held most sway with me. Then, the Prequel Trilogy gave the franchise a permanent black eye and I embraced Trek anew. For the purposes of a clear-headed review, this leaves me rather well placed; I enjoy the franchise, have seen much of it, yet I don't feel obliged to apologize for its (many) recent missteps.

The film's opening is shakier than a pole-axed Cloverfield. There's a busy but unremarkable space battle, the much-maligned "My name is James Tiberius Kirk" robot-cop police chase from the trailer, and a "Jeremy" video homage with L'il Spock. The solid ideas on show are clouded by awkward execution and an uncertain tone. History looks set to repeat itself.

Things start clicking, when Kirk (Chris Pine) gives Starfleet a shot. Director J.J. Abrams and screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman understand that another training-wheels origin story is among the last things many genre fans want right now. With this in mind, we are spared Starfleet Academy: The New Class. A very enjoyable Kobayashi Maru scene and some inter-species shenanigans aside, the crew's school days are wisely curtailed. As with Saavik and chums in The Wrath of Khan, it's more dramatic watching newbies learn on the job. And apparently drama is important in movies.

But peril is irrelevant if we don't care about the ship and her crew. Thanks to solid work across the bridge, we care plenty. Chris Pine nails Kirk, as at home kicking ass and breaking rules as he is nailing well-endowed Riseans. Karl Urban also excels as "Bones" McCoy, packing enough world-weary charm to rub shoulders with DeForest's Kelley and Robert Picardo's Doctor in the acerbic Trek doctor pantheon.

Zachary Quinto, though, has the greatest task of all; while Pine et al exist independently from their predecessors, the Heroes star must deliver alongside Leonard Nimoy, the only returning O.S. veteran. And boy does he deliver. Like his cast-mates, he does his own thing, while never losing sight of what made his character iconic in the first place. It's a move that pays off better than any of the movie's many accomplished SFX driven set-pieces.

I'll spend as long discussing the movie's time travel/alternate reality conceit as it deserves: it's convenient, transparent, and absolutely fine. You can't go off on flights of fancy without doing the donkey work first, in much the same as way you can't start colouring your "Jeffrey Combs is the Peter Sellers of Star Trek" mosaic without finishing the pencil outline.

For all its techno trappings, Abrams' Trek does the little things best. Things like pacing, atmosphere, and pairing Simon Pegg with a Ghoulies reject side-kick. It also boasts finality sorely lacking in more recent Trek; phaser blasts and photon torpedoes destroy things, and dead means dead. This is tremendous news for Joe Public and disillusioned Trek-fans alike. For Vulcans, Romulans, and a Crewman or two? Not so much. Had the movie married this approach to a subject meatier than Angry Aliens** want revenge, we could have had something really special on our hands.

Watch it: because you won't believe Star Trek is relevant again until you do.
Don't watch it: because you refuse to accept the notion that Winona Ryder can look old in any way and every time you see her under age make-up you'll think "that ain't right" as the fourth wall crumbles.
Ranking: 7/10 (Plucky Lieutenant.)

* Stargate fans, feel free to develop taste.
** Bana does phone-it-in somewhat, as Nero.

--

Ian Pratt likes to think of himself as the Bones of this blog, but he knows he's closer to Neelix.

One-Shot (30/06/09)

Against the odds, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is in danger of becoming another X-Men Origins: Wolverine (something I don't see theatrically.)

Monday 29 June 2009

One-Shot (29/06/09)

The penciled in plans for my review of Ghostbusters: The Video Game have been scribbled out with "permy" marker. Why? If the nigh irresistible bait of a Sexiest List ain't bringing in the readers, a 30 word assessment along the lines of "it's light and fun, but the gameplay's very repetitive" sure ain't gonna do it.

Sunday 28 June 2009

One-Shot (28/06/09)

Getting barked at by some Loyalist Orange Order marcher while trying to cross the road after work is to a smile what feet are to creepy crawlies.

Saturday 27 June 2009

One-Shot (27/06/09)

Does political content on this blog make you:
  1. unsubscribe?
  2. interested?
  3. very happy to not be from Northern Ireland?
  4. very unhappy to be from Northern Ireland?
(Choose more than one, if necessary.)

24: Here

Today, the U.V.F. (Ulster Volunteer Force) and Red Hand Commandos (different name for the same thing) are said to have totally decommissioned their arms. The U.D.A. (see Red Hand Commandos) also claim to have begun following suit. You can read all about it here.

I never thought I'd see the day, but the same went for the I.R.A.'s 2005 disarmament. Why the guarded tone, then? It's "an historic day.... further testimony to the transformation in Northern Ireland", according to Secretary of State Shaun Woodward [featured BBC article.] Well, as we witnessed in March, paramilitaries Here are not unlike your average Hollywood ghouls; beheading one doesn't mean two won't pop back up in its place.

It's more than that, though. Just yesterday I watched a newly unfurled U.V.F. flag rippling in the breeze, as I walked through neighbouring streets. It, of course, wasn't alone. Moments later I passed a man wearing a U.V.F. shirt. Not a D.I.Y., Primark plain white tee later deformed by a home-made print, a genuine "I'm in the U.V.F" shirt. That this is probably that man's "job" and "uniform" (outside of 501's, a black bomber jacket, and balaclava, of course) appalls me on a level beyond concision.

Watching that clown walk around with impunity in the middle of a sunny Friday afternoon was, at once, infuriating and enlightening; it's our problem in microcosm. Too many people still don't see the abhorrence of their ways. His demeanour was not that of a man finally being dragged into civility along with his cohorts, nor was it a man afraid for his future; rather, it was the same nonchalance exhibited by the sectarian mooncats I went to high school with, the guys who drew Loyalist murals during classes, hummed and drummed Loyalist tunes on the tables with their pens, and used used the terms "Fenian" and "taig" in much the same breath as Nazi - a swagger (or saunter, as we say Here) that said "the more things change...."

Flying your country's flag, or whatever flag you wish, from a pole on the front of your house and flying terrorist - again, terrorist - flags (plural) on streetlights around your area are not the same thing.

I'm not ignorant enough to accuse the police of being ineffectual, but, in these matters, question marks arise as to their conviction. Any such flag spotted or reported to an officer should be removed instantly. The same must also go for murals, no matter which acronym they champion. If we are, indeed, progressing, then there can be no alternative, least of all the shameful "that's just the way it is" attitude so prevalent in society to this day.

I hate the fact that I thought better of reporting this offensive behaviour for fear of the inaction it would likely meet. I hate the fact that, after so long, these issues still annoy me this deeply. But most of all I hate the fact that the good people of Northern Ireland seem consigned to pessimism as long as it's "Us VS. Them" Here.

--

Ian Pratt finds "the bright side" of life increasingly hard to look upon.

Friday 26 June 2009

One-Shot (26/06/09)

Attention Socialist Party N.I. pamphleteers, writers, and organizers: proof reading is advisable.

Thursday 25 June 2009

One-Shot (25/06/09)

R.I.P. Michael Jackson.

Wednesday 24 June 2009

One-Shot (24/06/09)

Is it good or bad that I'm already thinking about the next "list" before finishing (or even starting to post) the first? Is it neither good nor bad? Sad? Is it sadder that I'm 99.975% sure none of these questions will ever be answered? Ah, the blogosphere... as ethereal as teenage love.

Tuesday 23 June 2009

One-Shot (23/06/09)

Rowntree's Randoms are the nuts.

Monday 22 June 2009

One-Shot (22/06/09)

I'd rather not remind everyone how ugly my homeland can be, but sometimes it's necessary. Now, it's necessary. In case you couldn't be bothered reading the article linked above (it's OK, neither did I), Esther Rantzen said Northern Irish people are addicted to hatred. She attempted to back-pedal on said radio show today, softening the edges of her original statement. Rantzen's remarks were met with mostly aggro comebacks to the effect of "we're not that bad!" A small portion of callers, however, backed her up. Much as it pains me, I know where they're coming from. Now, if you thought I was copping out just then by not saying "I would, too!", here's why. It's pure falsehoods (I mean, hello? Have you forgotten whose blog you're reading?) No, we're not addicted to hate; we're conditioned to hate. Our status quo lives or dies on whether we accept this grotesque education or show it the business end of our collective Chuck Taylor's. Anyone to listen to Episode Three of Back-Talk will know my hard-line pessimism towards cross-community healing here, but to suggest a people so behassled by hatred actually enjoy it is misguided and more than a little ignorant.

Sunday 21 June 2009

One-Shot (21/06/09)

Gratuitous Allison Weiss post homage! Top 5 songs of the last fortnight:
  1. "From Out of Nowhere" - Faith No More.
  2. "Tilted" - Sugar.
  3. "Digging the Grave" - Faith No More.
  4. "Come Around" - Sugar.
  5. "Feeling Better" - Sugar.
Yeah, I like Bob Mould.

Saturday 20 June 2009

One-Shot (20/06/09)

The Game upstairs in Belfast's Castle Court would win my personal, less FHM version of High Street Honeys (Cashier Cuties?) Oh, and if it ever becomes manageable, I still fully intend to unleash the Sexiest List on an unsuspecting - read: largely oblivious - populace. This populace... the one we're a part of. That seemed like as good a time as any to bring that up. Also, Episode Eight(: "Whedony") of Back-Talk, this blog's weekly podcast, has arrived. You'll be totally unsurprised to find lots of Buffy and Buffy-related discussion therein.

Friday 19 June 2009

One-Shot (19/06/09)

WE - ARE - BACK!*

Did you miss me? Well, I'm back anyway. Yes, greetings, friends! I've returned. To mark this non-historic occasion, here's another "link" One-Shot sure to be read by no more than 2 people. What an age we live in!

In a recent Facebook note, I named Nick Nunziata, creator and linchpin of CHUD.com, as one of my favourite writers. This shows why. In an everyday news item - the kind so often churned out with an obvious lack of enthusiasm and care - he simultaneously excels and shames many of his contemporaries. If I've not got you to bookmark CHUD by now, I never will. Does that mean I'll stop trying? Sure doesn't.

It's good to be back.

* CHUD.com readers, get ready to appreciate some first-rate foreshadowing!

Friday 5 June 2009

One-Shot (05/06/09)

If you thought yesterday's One-Shot (or any of the numerous succinct recent installments) was (were) short shrift, check this out: I might not be here for a while; by extension, this blog may not be here for a while. Now that you've had time to recover, let me assure you that I've not fallen out with you. No. That's not it. Just don't be surprised if there's a lapse. Why so cryptic? Just because, that's why. Take it easy.

Thursday 4 June 2009

One-Shot (04/06/09)

I voted today; you should, too!

Wednesday 3 June 2009

One-Shot (03/06/09)

G Major is the most satisfying chord to strum. Be it in power, barre, or any of its classic open voiced forms, no note formation more consistently or thoroughly kicks. Just ask acoustic singer-songwriters! Disagree? Well you're wrong, but feel free to weigh in below. That's right... this is a vacuum. Oh, well!

Tuesday 2 June 2009

One-Shot (02/06/09)

"A verbal agreement is only as good as the paper it's printed on." You said it, Kirk. That's the Gilmore Girls comic relief, not the Captain.

Monday 1 June 2009

One-Shot (01/06/09)

Will Paul Reubens ever top-line a movie again? I'm not asking to be obtuse; I want to know.