Which feature do you miss most?

Wednesday 30 September 2009

One-Shot (30/09/09)

Not fun: having your aft hull touched by a child.

Tuesday 29 September 2009

One-Shot (29/09/09)

I watched this today.

Afterward, I started thinking.

April 15,
Still immortal. Found new furniture place. Devoured innocents. Pretty routine.

Conclusion?

Debacle.

Monday 28 September 2009

Sunday 27 September 2009

One-Shot (27/09/09)

When a recent spate of ugly incidents threatens to pull football back into disrepair, it's hard to get excited about this. Incidentally, Stephen Graham (This Is England) is very quickly becoming boring.

Wednesday 23 September 2009

One-Shot (23/09/09)

What's a blog for, if not to pimp out one's own wares? That said, Back-Talk - our podcast - has just returned after a lengthy hiatus. It's co-hosted by Chris, the elusive other half of this blog, and myself. Episodes cover a variety of topics and sometimes even focus on the subject at hand. They are... ample in proportion. The four new installments can be found alongside all of their predecessors (as well as some articles) at lsfhf.co.uk.

N.B. To be fair, there's more to this post than just shilling. With the podcast side-bar defunct, it actually makes a lot of sense that I clarified things. That's my line and I'm sticking to it.

Tuesday 22 September 2009

# 28 - Review: (500) Days of Summer

Wow. I've been meaning to get around to reviewing some more of the films I saw this summer. I knew it'd been a while since I'd done any articles proper, but I didn't think the last time was in July! That's pretty bad. Well, the make-up begins right here.

--

Hindsight, as boring conversationalists often say, is a wonderful thing. Until now, they were right. (500) Days of Summer is an enjoyable distraction while it's on and just another movie when it's over. Nothing more, nothing less. It's the cinematic equivalent of the girl - or boy, we at Low Standards are a progressive people - you fancy passing by. The girl or boy you used to fancy a lot but have kinda gone off a bit, to precise.

If the trailer for Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist boiled your kettle, you've probably already caught Summer. Tom (G.I. Joe's Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a young greeting card writer and wannabe architect meets the slight and subtle Summer* (Zooey Deschanel) at work and promptly falls for her. She's not into the whole love thing, though, much to Tom's chagrin. However, this doesn't stop her stringing him along for ages and dispelling potential irritation with flashes of her anime eyes.

The film, like its eponymous lady, does things her own way. The peaks and troughs of Tom and Summer's unclassified pairing are presented in a less than linear fashion. This out-of-sync approach proves to be mostly successful, as it still enables a somewhat conventional narrative flow and all of the beats that entails, while also granting it a freshness above, say, Music and Lyrics. When the laughs and/or pathos aren't/isn't coming, though, it starts to feel rather brittle.

Cynics will find the film an easy target. First and foremost, it's a "quirky" rom-com. How do we know this? Well, it's got a Belle and Sebastian reference, Zooey Deschanel, and twee graphics that look like album covers for the kind of bands on its soundtrack throughout. That said, where cynics will hear only contrivance and attempted earnestness when Tom swoons at Summer's shared Smiths fandom, most moviegoers will be too busy identifying or wishing they were identifying to care.

The film's greatest strength, aside from the impressive Gordon-Levitt, is in its presentation of "little moments." Witness Tom and Summer "playing house" in the IKEA showroom. While the best scene in the film, even this suffers from an underdeveloped script. Writers Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber leave their principals hanging, when it's time to deliver a killer line or wet-yourself laughing moment. There are flourishes. The post-coital cabaret (complete with killer Han Solo cameo) and flashbacks, even with the odd narrator, in particular, are handled beautifully by director Marc Webb, but we're too often left knowing how we should be feeling or when we should be laughing rather than actually getting on with either.

Watch it: if you, like, totally listen to bands that haven't even formed yet.
Don't watch it: if romantic comedies with "wise for their years" child characters make you want to slay all before you.
Ranking: 6/10 (clumsy but well meaning Ensign.)

* Ooh, Joyceian!

--

Ian Pratt hopes you noticed how he reviewed (500) Days of Summer without making a (rubbish) title joke.

One-Shot (22/09/09)

Pink Ladies are great.

Monday 21 September 2009

One-Shot (21/09/09)

Maybe I was wrong to lament my increasingly... succinct output here? Is it catching on?

Sunday 20 September 2009

One-Shot (20/09/09)

You knew (or should've known) it was coming!

Some thoughts:

Fletcher(aldo) was imperious and fully deserving of his Man of the Match award. Giggs was joyous. Despite what the Bitter Blue Facebook contingent protest, we battered them for most of that second half (and let's not forget the great start.) With the exception of Bellamy's wonder-strike, we gifted them their goals - that said, he should've been closed down. Oh, and Ireland was virtually anonymous. An instant classic.

Saturday 19 September 2009

One-Shot (19/09/09)

Perhaps, time will say otherwise, but, right now, This Is England feels a lot like English History X.

Friday 18 September 2009

Thursday 17 September 2009

One-Shot (17/09/09)

Are you ready to rock? That's as well, 'cos these guys do.

Wednesday 16 September 2009

One-Shot (16/09/09)

No harm to her, but pop music's in bad shape if Cheryl Cole going solo is cause for excitement.

Tuesday 15 September 2009

One-Shot (15/09/09)

For all its foibles, I still wish we had more (legal) access to American Show shows. As long as that delightful Conan O'Brien is involved, at any rate.

Monday 14 September 2009

One-Shot (14/09/09)

Yeah, this makes sense, but that's part of the problem. I'd rather have had Nic Cage, to be honest. If your first thought was anything other than "me, too", Face/Off. Just Face/Off.

Saturday 12 September 2009

One-Shot (12/09/09)

In "The Great One", Episode 76 of SModcast, the popular podcast from Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier, Smith assures the listener that no knowledge or appreciation of hockey is necessary to enjoy Wayne Gretzky (he's right.) Well, I'm telling you now that you don't need to like Smith or his films to enjoy this.

Friday 11 September 2009

One-Shot (11/09/09)

I'm really getting tired of this chick. Well, that was my first thought. It's actually pretty cool to have a slightly left of centre female pop star, though, even if she's pretty tame compared to some who've come before.

Thursday 10 September 2009

One-Shot (10/09/09)

It'd be an act of inexplicable cowardice to ignore last night's match, after going on so much about other games. Northern Ireland were beaten 0-2 by Slovakia, a result that effectively ends our chances of qualifying for next year's World Cup in South Africa. Yeah, I'm gutted, but unlike some of my fellow countrymen, I don't believe in going down with a whimper.

Wednesday 9 September 2009

One-Shot (09/09/09)

  1. "It's A Sad, Day When Anyone Sides With Kenyon."
  2. "Now's The Time For Ruthless, England."
Either Football 365 have developed a peculiar house style, or they have some serious punctuation issues.

Tuesday 8 September 2009

One-Shot (08/09/09)

George A. Romero must love him some Irish; this time - Survival of the Dead - it's the O'Flynns and the Muldoons, complete with the broadest of broad comedy performances, based on this clip.

Monday 7 September 2009

One-Shot (07/09/09)

Every director is visionary. They might not have good visions for their films, but, by their very nature, they are visionary, in as much as they bring their ideas (or "vision") to bear on a film. Ergo, preceding your largely anonymous director's name with this word is not only audacious and laughable, but also wholly irrelevant. If you helped market the movie 9 and don't feel addressed right now, you should.*

* If you remember me making a similar complaint about Watchmen's marketing, congratulations, you are the readerly equivalent of a Final Girl.

Sunday 6 September 2009

One-Shot (06/09/09)

I can't stop thinking about last night's match. Consequently, I'm dedicating another day's post to it. Now that you've all closed the window, I'll finish my ramble.

There's a cracking gallery of snaps from yesterday's home nations internationals on Football 365, the site I shill out second most around here (how can I not endorse a site than actually refers to Northern Ireland as "Norn' Iron'?") Naturally, those from our game away to Poland are of foremost interest to me. Two act as a kind of Kyle Lafferty picture book. Behold!

First, we see Kyle (also of Rangers) slotting the ball through the legs of Polish keeper Artur Boruc (also of Celtic) to put the Ulstermen 1-0 up. It's a fantastic finish, one made all the more impressive given the unstable shinguard strapped to Kyle's right leg.

Then, we see young Kyle wheeling away for his well deserved celebration. There's nothing to "notice" about this picture. I just wanted to share the glorious image with you. Cheers.

Friday 4 September 2009

One-Shot (04/09/09)

Trebor Extra Strong Peppermint Gum is the nuts.

Wednesday 2 September 2009

One-Shot (02/09/09)

Biscotti are hugely overrated. They have none of the great taste of most McVities-style biscuits and cost substantially more, even when bought solo. That sum does itself.