One-Shot (26/04/09): NOFX Gig Mini-Review

NOFX (plus Pour Habit and the Flatliners.) Spring & Airbrake, Belfast. 26/05/09.

Sorry for the delay; life (more specifically, NOFX) got in the way. But a mere apology isn't all you get. Oh, no. You also get this present tense, bullet-pointed mini review. It's the least I could do.

1. Waiting around for about an hour (alone) while scenesters in thrift-store naval hats and Turtles miniskirts. Apathy turns to irritation.
2. The first support band begins playing. Sucking increases. The first lyric of their first song: "I fucked your girlfriend last week." Starting to regret ticket purchase, birth.
3. Get talking to "Tommy", a metal head and possibly the only other solo flyer here. He's also 22 and we do the whole "don't you feel old at these things now?" thing while a plethora of 15 year old-looking girls parade to-and-fro. He offers me a joint. Respect dies.
   
4. The second support band are less puerile and marginally better musically. Tommy proceeds to get thoroughly fucked, wander off "to the toilet" for indeterminate spells and return on the verge of collapse.
5. I've never seen the Spring & Airbrake so bunged. People refuse to stand still, including the aforementioned kiddiewinks. Lots of Topman footsoldiers pretend not to have manners. I tell Tommy these kids know nothing of punk rock and its communal ethic. He concurs.
6. An excited young Southerner starts talking to me and Tommy at the cash machine. Last night's Dublin show was outstanding, apparently. He also makes sure to mention his spot on the guest list and hour and a half long chat with his great pals in the forgettable support band. He's polite and harmless, though, so he gets a by ball.
   
7. NOFX arrive. The place goes buck-daft. In a few short minutes, Fat Mike underlines their charm; "get ready for one of the most disappointing nights of your life." It's the most energetic gig opening without music I've ever seen. Come to think of it, it's the only gig I've ever seen where a band haven't rushed into a song more or less straight away.
8. "The Brews" and "Stickin' In My Eye" go down well. So too does some predictable but fun Bushmills/Jameson Whiskey banter.
9. Fat Mike asks the crowd if they like the Queen. They don't. He dedicates "Kick Her In The Cunt" to her. The resulting cheer is huge.
   
10. Tommy arches forward. He's either really into his phone or about to fall on his face. A pink day glow guy bumps into him. Tommy doesn't react. The punk walks on. "I thought he was a pillar!" Quite.
11. I keep catching glimpses of an old friend. Awkward.
12. The show ends and I take off promptly. "Leave It Alone" and a few others would've been the ticket. Then again, so would being 17 for tonight.