11: I 'Seacht' You Not

Non-shocking opening remark: I am a patriot. Some early posts have touched on this and at least one more is due to follow. Like my more enlightened fellow citizens, love of The Province doesn't exclude the other 28 counties. So when a new Irish language programme comes along, aimed squarely at my demographic, I'm more than a little interested. A practical application for those with a bit of Gaeilge? Go raibh maith agat!

'Seacht', according to the Irish Film & Television Network, is a new drama following the lives of students in a fictional Belfast arts college. It features young local actors and has an interesting pedigree behind the curtain. The D.P. from Once, for example. The show's producer, Ferdia MacAnna, "wanted to create something different, something people hadn't seen before."

Ferdia - 0, Humanity - 1.

Not to put too fine a point on it, 'Seacht' is absolute malachite. It's inherent concept is trite and as uninspired as the original chocolate fireguard. Unlike 'Gavin and Stacey' or 'The I.T. Crowd', flair, charm, or wit can't bring it home. Even if they could, they shouldn't. 'Seacht' doesn't deserve saving. It's a derivative televisual ballbag fit only for the knackers yard.

Of course, these things come in pairs: Armageddon/Deep Impact, Capote/Infamous, Yes Man/Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia. With 'Skins' pulling in the T4 crowd, 'Seacht' was inevitable. It's bland cast, comprised mainly of unknowns (with good cause) fall from one histrionic hissyfit to the next, never showing anything approaching complexity or a third dimension. Five minutes tells you all you need to know about the all-too-familiar subjects covered and the faux-Trainspotting style it's served in. If you do stick it out for an episode or two you'll:

1. Find all the usual boxes ticked and reticked.
2. Weep. If not literally, then inside.

You've seen it all before and so much better. This isn't the show you're looking for. Move along.

There is something great about having a prime-time "drama" in Irish. Take that away, though, and you've got McSkins. Nothing more, nothing less. Sure, MacAnna and his cohorts would no doubt defend the show's linguistic approach. When I first watched it, I thought Irish was being used as a metaphor. The whole "kids have their own language, these days" thing. If that was their intention, they failed. Anyone who says otherwise is backpeddling, retconning a job so bungled and botched as to warrant immediate destruction.

If you've ever handled a Bank of Ireland tenner, you will recognize Queen's as the backdrop. When the sole redeeming factor of a programme is recognizing the locations, well... you get the gist.

A similar level of tat can be found on the show's Northern Ireland iPlayer page. Suffice to say, you'll want to tune in, at their behest, to see what it's like when people lead emotional lives. An emotional life? Man that'd be something. But they are right about one thing. It is ground breaking. See the ground beneath my feet? It's breaking.

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Ian Pratt recommends 'Blas Ceoil' for all your blarney needs.