17: A Good Idea

Not to prolong Christophe's blue balls, but my faith in Hideo Kojima is restored. After the prior (and, indeed Pryor-level) frustration documented with Metal Gear 4's "Drama", I thought it impossible. Yesterday, though, I reached Act 3's (anti-)climax and what I presumed was journey's end. Given that most Hollywood films employ this structure, and the game apes blockbuster action so closely, everything suggested Snake's exploits had concluded.

The usual debriefing stat screen appeared. Then I, like Snake, was plunged back a decade... to Shadow Moses. For a fan, the chance to play through the moment most of us first fell for Metal Gear was pretty sweet. Still, if I wanted 32-bit snowbound action, I'd pop in the original. And sticking a chunk of an eleven year old game at the end of a supposedly 10/10 current flagship title is no compensation for the lack of a satisfying ending. No boss battle, no nothing, except for talktalktalk. What really would've been sweet? The chance to play the level with all the PS3's might behind it.

The above was pretty much my stream of consciousness as I infiltrated the charming but primitive Shadow Moses facility. Oh, well. Still worth 23 odd quid. Once I lead Snake into the upstairs air vent, the screen went black. Next, instead of watching credits, I caught up with Old Snake back in the saddle. Or, rather, where he was after I started The Great Skip of Ought Nine. He snaps out of it. Otacon catches him napping.

Snake - "Sorry. I had that dream again."

YOU-WEE-DANCER.

Sometimes, playing this game is more like being in a mediocre relationship. I had to sit through more gubbins than I knew I could stand, to get to the simple, honest-to-goodness minutiae. The little nuts and bolts that, when they all click, soar. I'd sooner have expected city to win the Premiership than a turn-around that huge or a sucker-punch that genius.

And it is genius. Not only was the game not over but, oh yes, I got to infiltrate a new, improved, mech-defended Shadow Moses boasting terrain so vast Kojima could only have dreamt it back in '99. Off the chopper, Snake must navigate a maze during a snowstorm. On the PlayStation, that would mean a Silent Hill style veil of square white "mist." On the PS3, you can practically feel the wind peg back your ears and the crunch of snow as you give huge camouflaged Geckos the slip (cheers, MK 2's Night Vision mode!)

I could go on. Rather than list every well-judged wink the segment features for fans (they are legion) or every other reason to drop some bills, I will, instead, simply express thanks for this wondrous creation and hope that someday you too will get your stealth on.

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Ian Pratt thinks Josh Brolin would a fine Snake make.