Maybe it's the wealth of televised sport available today (come on, Ireland/United!) Maybe it's Dave getting a PS3, or just the passing of yesterday's lonely Valentine's funk. All I want to know is "how long is my good mood gonna last?" No, screw that for a boat ride. That's like knowing what disposable indie tripe's coming up next on MTV2. Nah, I'm enjoying the upswing too much to care.
I won't lie: the poll (above) is helping. That there are people out there who want to know my 25 All-Time Sexiest people puts the bad taste sex metaphor of your choice on the end of this sentence. In fact, yesterday's Other Miscellany (below) pleased me so much that I now know what I must do. The thought of writing that list is too appealing to squander. That said, I will now attempt to convince you that saying "yes" is not only right, but an entertainment imperative.
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
BROUGHT TO YOU BY IAN
BROUGHT TO YOU BY IAN
My fellow Internauts (Chris, I'm gonna help you bring it back or literally "fail" trying),
Are you tired of myopic "sexiest" lists predicated on collecting boring ant-girls and square-jawed Clooney clones? So am I. If you support me in this bid to unleash my list, I promise to deliver a truly enlightened effort. I respect and appreciate all (three) of you too much to demean us all with "promises" to "cater to all tastes." With my preferences especially, this was always going to be impossible. No-one (except maybe me and Chris) wants to read Ian's 25 Sexiest Redheads List, I would wager. Hence the poll's modification.
I will, however, promise to forge a group comprising those I "fancy" or have done in the past, while not ruling out those I don't or have never.
How, then, can a heterosexual guy deliver an "enlightened", remotely objective sexiest list? Simple: by tearing down the borders, Anti-Flag style. Just because I wouldn't want to, doesn't mean you wouldn't. Ergo, all bets are off. You think I won't include Martin Sheen just 'cos I don't wanna bone him? You think wrong. Like all non-repressed straight guys, I can admit when someone of the same sex is attractive; this remarkably simple yet oft overlooked concept promises to validate this list like some sort of erotic parking ticket.
What about Jason Segel, the most consistently charming onscreen presence since John Cusack? He might feature, he might not. There is, as they say, only one way to find out, folks. If you want a Sexiest List worth reading, one that appraises people, male or female, famous or infamous, Romulan or Bolian, by treating them like people and not pieces of meat, you know what to do: vote yes! It'd be like the After Ellen list, but, y'know not just for lesbians. And bi-chicks. I promise. Thank you.
Hopefully yours,
Ian
Are you tired of myopic "sexiest" lists predicated on collecting boring ant-girls and square-jawed Clooney clones? So am I. If you support me in this bid to unleash my list, I promise to deliver a truly enlightened effort. I respect and appreciate all (three) of you too much to demean us all with "promises" to "cater to all tastes." With my preferences especially, this was always going to be impossible. No-one (except maybe me and Chris) wants to read Ian's 25 Sexiest Redheads List, I would wager. Hence the poll's modification.
I will, however, promise to forge a group comprising those I "fancy" or have done in the past, while not ruling out those I don't or have never.
How, then, can a heterosexual guy deliver an "enlightened", remotely objective sexiest list? Simple: by tearing down the borders, Anti-Flag style. Just because I wouldn't want to, doesn't mean you wouldn't. Ergo, all bets are off. You think I won't include Martin Sheen just 'cos I don't wanna bone him? You think wrong. Like all non-repressed straight guys, I can admit when someone of the same sex is attractive; this remarkably simple yet oft overlooked concept promises to validate this list like some sort of erotic parking ticket.
What about Jason Segel, the most consistently charming onscreen presence since John Cusack? He might feature, he might not. There is, as they say, only one way to find out, folks. If you want a Sexiest List worth reading, one that appraises people, male or female, famous or infamous, Romulan or Bolian, by treating them like people and not pieces of meat, you know what to do: vote yes! It'd be like the After Ellen list, but, y'know not just for lesbians. And bi-chicks. I promise. Thank you.
Hopefully yours,
Ian
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