"The Trouble With Sky Movies"
an original observation
an original observation
by Some Guy
FADE IN:
INT. SKY TELEVISION OFFICE - DAY
Two young executives are buried under a tonne of paperwork at a huge desk.
EXECUTIVE 1 - What are we gonna' do, Chet? How can we possibly select films to show on our Sky Movies Modern Greats channel?
EXECUTIVE 2 - I don't know, George. It's just such a vague name. I mean, how does one define what is "modern" or "great" for that matter?!
Executive 1 rips up out of his seat and snaps his fingers.
EXECUTIVE 1 - By Joe, I've got it!
EXECUTIVE 2 - Joe? You told me it was over!
CUT TO:
INT. JOE SOAP'S HOUSE - DAY
Joe Soap is looking through his television guide while his wife, Barbara Soap, plays her mandolin.
BARBARA - Say Joe, would you see what's on Sky Movies Modern Greats later?
JOE SOAP - Sure thing, baby doll.
He turns to the Sky Movie Channel listings.
JOE - Let's see... Modern Greats, Modern Greats. Ah, here we go.
Joe scans down the schedule.
7.30am - War of the Roses (1989)
9.30am - The Breakfast Club (1984)
11.15am - Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)
1.35pm - Charley Varrick - (1973)
4.05pm - Maverick - (1994)
6.15pm - see 9.30am.
8.00pm - The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)
10.15pm - You Only Live Twice (1967)
12.20am - Sleepers (1996)
2.50am - The Wicked Lady (1983)
4.35pm - see 4.05pm.
Joe rips up out of his seat.
JOE - That's it! I'm canceling our Sky subscription, dagnabbit!
BARBARA - Golly Joe! Whyever for?
JOE - This schedule is a joke. There's not a single film made in the 21st century - in the last ten years - on their "Modern Greats" channel, by George!
BARBARA - George? You told me it was over!
Joe Soap is looking through his television guide while his wife, Barbara Soap, plays her mandolin.
BARBARA - Say Joe, would you see what's on Sky Movies Modern Greats later?
JOE SOAP - Sure thing, baby doll.
He turns to the Sky Movie Channel listings.
JOE - Let's see... Modern Greats, Modern Greats. Ah, here we go.
Joe scans down the schedule.
7.30am - War of the Roses (1989)
9.30am - The Breakfast Club (1984)
11.15am - Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)
1.35pm - Charley Varrick - (1973)
4.05pm - Maverick - (1994)
6.15pm - see 9.30am.
8.00pm - The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)
10.15pm - You Only Live Twice (1967)
12.20am - Sleepers (1996)
2.50am - The Wicked Lady (1983)
4.35pm - see 4.05pm.
Joe rips up out of his seat.
JOE - That's it! I'm canceling our Sky subscription, dagnabbit!
BARBARA - Golly Joe! Whyever for?
JOE - This schedule is a joke. There's not a single film made in the 21st century - in the last ten years - on their "Modern Greats" channel, by George!
BARBARA - George? You told me it was over!
FIN
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